September 1, 2014
A Horrible depressing Labor Day
I don't know why I am starting another blog, I always loose interest or something happens in life and I never have enough time. Lets try again!
This is summer has been the worst besides 2011 where I was completely unemployed and it was hot as hell outside, and everything was dead, kind of how I feel now days.
2011, WOW how much has changed since then, I don't have the same friend(s), and different physical, health, spiritual, and emotional setting now. I no longer have any friends for a few years now, booted the last guy as my "best friend" in 2012 for good, cause we just were not going to ever see eye to eye on the most crucial ordeals you need for a solid friendship. Anyways....
I have been in the worst depression possible lately, I am really thankful my Doctor prescribed me Ativan, it has really helped in my anxiety, and while they were prescribed for chronic headaches ( I have them many times a week most of my life) they have really really helped on my anxiety level, but my depression is getting worse. I think it is cause my pain in my back is getting worse.
See, I have a back injury from back in the days when I worked offshore and then worked a few years delivering heavy furniture and appliances for Rent A Center, the result was 3 lumbar herniations and probable 1-3 upper herniations, haven't had an upper MRI yet. I refuse to go on disability cause I can still work RIGHT NOW, but my condition is getting worse, and the pain meds are getting weaker and weaker, and I am just sucombing to them for a fix all, and its NOT WORKING! I want to have back surgery and try for a better life, but without insurance or a large influx of income, that is not going to happen.
I am trying so hard to be strong, but its not working either, I cry at various times of the day, because of the condition of my life, I get irritated easily cause of the pain, and have come to the place, where financially I am stressed out. I need help! It is only the help that God can give, but I guess I will have to keep praying, cause right now nothing is happening
Thats all I feel like writing now,
Kory Russell
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